379 The Art of Inquiry • Vance Crowe

In acupuncture school we learn the 10 questions, which will get you some information. But it’s more interrogative than rapport building, more about eliciting information than revealing meaning.

Listening with a mindset of noticing the small anomalies. Listening to understand someone from their own point of view. To be inquisitive about how the difficulties might hold unrevealed lessons, and how troubles are lessons in progress.
It’s more than having an unfettered sense of curiosity, there’s something else that goes into it.

In this conversation with Vance Crowe we explore the transformative potential of conversations that invite the stories that haven’t had an audience. Like many of us, Vance did not set out to do what he does. It found him.

Listen into this discussion on rapport, connection, surprise and delight. Often enough, there’s a harvest of wisdom that comes with following the threads that are usually just out of sight.

In This Conversation We Discuss:

• The unexpected beginning of the Legacy Interviews business
• We are powerfully connected through story
• The opening that attention to small details can reveal
• Self-disclosure can help to move a conversation forward, but it must be titrated properly
• Fast matching is helpful for establishing rapport, but it gets in the way of deepening the connection
• The potency of silence and the space it creates for reflection
• Harvesting wisdom, focusing inquiry on lessons learned
• Navigating pauses and moments when the conversation loses momentum
• Great listeners live in a different “bubble” than other people
• The importance of of tension and why you don’t want to resolve it too quickly
• Negotiation is an opportunity to understand what your is important to the other person

When you are interviewing a person about a sensitive topic, try to avoid asking “why” and instead ask “how.” How allows a person to recount the background they think is relevant without making them feel defensive.​

Vance Crowe

I am the founder of Legacy Interviews, a service that video records individuals and couples sharing their life stories so that future generations get the opportunity to know their family history.  Before founding Legacy Interviews I worked as a deckhand on an eco-tourism ship, as a US Peace Corps Volunteer in Kenya, at a community public radio station, at the World Bank and as the Director of Millennial Engagement at Monsanto.

My wife Annie and I have two daughters and a dog. Outside of Legacy Interviews, I am invited around the US and Canada to give talks on negotiations, communication strategy and how to have better conversations. I host two podcasts called The Vance Crowe Podcast and the Ag Tribes Report.

Links and Resources

You can find out more about Vance and his work at Legacy Interviews by going to www.LegacyInterviews.com

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